Building Virtue

NFL football players and New York Philharmonic Orchestra members do not happen by accident. 
They spend countless hours learning from others, practicing, failing, and improving. It is a non-stop process.
Living a life of virtue is no different. It takes a lifetime of learning, practicing, and persevering. 
One who pursues virtue is virtuous. One who pursues vice is vicious. Which do you want your child to be? Which do you wish to be?

Remember the simple formula:
Thoughts become actions, which become habits, which become your character, which becomes your destiny.

Picture the life you want your child to have as an adult. Begin today to build those characteritics and virtues that will be necessary.

Remember, the Greek word for "happiness" means "pursuing virtue."
Want you child to be a happy adult?
Teach them to pursue virtue. 

Where do you start? Well, read below, and then here and here!

The Catholic Church has maintained virtue as a foundational teaching since the beginning.
Catechism teaches, 

1804 Human virtues are firm attitudes, stable dispositions, habitual perfections of intellect and will that govern our actions, order our passions, and guide our conduct according to reason and faith. They make possible ease, self-mastery, and joy in leading a morally good life. The virtuous man is he who freely practices the good. The moral virtues are acquired by human effort. They are the fruit and seed of morally good acts; they dispose all the powers of the human being for communion with divine love

Catholic Virtues

Theological Virtues
Faith (CCC #1814-1816)
Faith is the virtue that enables us to believe in God and believe what He has revealed to us as truth because He is Truth Himself.
Hope (CCC #1817-1821)
The secular definition of hope is more synonymous with wish – “I hope you have a good day” – but that is not how Christians understand it. Hope is the virtue by which we desire and seek our ultimate good and happiness which is eternal life in the kingdom of heaven.

Charity (CCC #1822-1829)
Charity, or love, is the virtue that allows us to fulfill the two greatest commandments revealed by Jesus. “You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and the first commandment. The second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. The whole law and the prophets depend on these two commandments,” (Matthew 22:37-40, Mark 12:29-31).  Authentic love is to recognize God’s love for you and all of His creation and to reflect that love back into the world. It is to honor everyone and everything as He does. Contrary to the secular understanding of love as a feeling, the Catholic virtue of authentic charity says that love is a choice.

CARDINAL VIRTUES
PRUDENCE: "It is prudence that immediately guides the judgment of conscience. The prudent man determines and directs his conduct in accordance with this judgment. With the help of this virtue we apply moral principles to particular cases without error and overcome doubts about the good to achieve and the evil to avoid.
JUSTICE: " the moral virtue that consists in the constant and firm will to give their due to God and neighbor." Honor God, and do unto others as you would have them do to you. (Social Intelligennce)
FORTITUDE: "It strengthens the resolve to resist temptations and to overcome obstacles in the moral life. The virtue of fortitude enables one to conquer fear, even fear of death, and to face trials and persecutions. It disposes one even to renounce and sacrifice his life in defense of a just cause" (Grit)
TEMPERANCE: "the moral virtue that moderates the attraction of pleasures and provides balance in the use of created goods. It ensures the will's mastery over instincts and keeps desires within the limits of what is honorable." (Self-control)

Heavenly Virtues

Chastity

Abstaining from sexual conduct according to one’s state in life; the practice of courtly love and romantic friendship. Cleanliness through cultivated good health and hygiene, and maintained by refraining from intoxicants. To be honest with oneself, one’s family, one’s friends, and to all of humanity. Embracing of moral wholesomeness and achieving purity of thought-through education and betterment. The ability to refrain from being distracted and influenced by hostility, temptation or corruption.

Temperance

Restraint, temperance, justice. Constant mindfulness of others and one’s surroundings; practicing self-control, abstention, moderation, zero-sum and deferred gratification. Prudence to judge between actions with regard to appropriate actions at a given time. Proper moderation between self-interest, versus public-interest, and against the rights and needs of others.

Charity

Generosity, charity, self-sacrifice; the term should not be confused with the more restricted modern use of the word charity to mean benevolent giving. In Christian theology, charity — or love (agäpé) — is the greatest of the three theological virtues.

Love, in the sense of an unlimited loving kindness towards all others, is held to be the ultimate perfection of the human spirit, because it is said to both glorify and reflect the nature of God. Such love is self-sacrificial. Confusion can arise from the multiple meanings of the English word “love”. The love that is “caritas” is distinguished by its origin – being divinely infused into the soul – and by its residing in the will rather than emotions, regardless of what emotions it stirs up. This love is necessary for salvation, and with it no one can be lost.

Diligence

A zealous and careful nature in one’s actions and work; decisive work ethic, steadfastness in belief, fortitude, and the capability of not giving up. Budgeting one’s time; monitoring one’s own activities to guard against laziness. Upholding one’s convictions at all times, especially when no one else is watching (integrity).

(The vice “acedia” is more commonly known as “sloth”.)

Patience

Forbearance and endurance through moderation. Resolving conflicts and injustice peacefully, as opposed to resorting to violence. Accepting the grace to forgive[2]; to show mercy to sinners. Creating a sense of peaceful stability and community rather than suffering, hostility, and antagonism.

Kindness

Charity, compassion and friendship for its own sake. Empathy and trust without prejudice or resentment. Unselfish love and voluntary kindness without bias or spite. Having positive outlooks and cheerful demeanor; to inspire kindness in others.

Humility

Modest behavior, selflessness, and the giving of respect. Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less. It is a spirit of self-examination; a hermeneutic of suspicion toward yourself and charity toward people you disagree with. The courage of the heart necessary to undertake tasks which are difficult, tedious or unglamorous, and to graciously accept the sacrifices involved. Reverence for those who have wisdom and those who selflessly teach in love. Giving credit where credit is due; not unfairly glorifying one’s own self. Being faithful to promises, no matter how big or small they may be. Refraining from despair and the ability to confront fear and uncertainty, or intimidation.

The Catholic Faith is rich in its prayer tradition. 
Prayer is a conversation with the Divine and is essentila for forming ones' conscience and for living a life of Virtue.

Catholic Prayers

The KIPP School is one of the nation's most successful charter school sytems. Serving many children who were considerd "un-schoolable" they have found outstanding results. They do it by focusing on character development. Read Here
KIPP has found that of the over 25 positive traits a person can have, there are seven that are found in the most successful people. Thus, they focus on developing those traits, and you should do that for your child as well. 

Zest- Enthusiastic and energetic participation in life- "Who is there to harm you if you prove zealous for what is good?" 1 Peter 3:13

Grit- Perseverance and passion for long-term goals- "Stand firm and you will win life." Luke 21:19

Optimism- Confidence in a future full of positive possibilities- "This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us." 1 John 5:14

Self-Control-The capacity to regulate one's own responses so they align with short and long-term goals- "Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever." 1 Corinthians 9:25

Gratitude- Appreciation for the benefits we receive from others, and the desire to express thanks. - "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessolonians 5:16-18

Social Intelligence- Understanding the feelings of others and adapting actions accordingly- "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." Matthew 7:12

Curiosity- Eagerness to explore new things with openness- "Jesus turned and saw them following and said to them, "What are you seeking?" And they said to him, "Rabbi" (which means Teacher), "where are you staying?" He said to them, "Come and you will see." John 1:38-39 

Fasting is a powerful tool as evidenced by Jesus in his 40 Days in the desert to prepare for his ministry. 
Many Catholics find regular fasting, coupled with prayer,  to be a powerful tool. Traditionally, Wednesday and/or Friday are the days of fasting. Bread (with butter, or olive oil, or guacomole) and water are the most stringent approaches. Here are a few more links extolling fasting, and one that allows you to sign up for daily inspiration on fasting:
Catholic Gentleman on Fasting
Catholic Prayer and Fasting
 Reflections on Fasting
Sign Up for Inspiration-
St. Joseph Partners

Tips for Living a Holier Life: Daily Gifts to Jesus

Thanks to Patti Armstrong, Father Larry Richards, Deacon Greg Kandra, et al

1. Give a return on your gifts. When using a gift, say a prayer for the giver. For instance, Patti says a Hail Mary for the person who gave her a geranium, every time she waters it. When using clothing or jewelry someone gave to you, say a pray for the giver. Be grateful, always!
2. Begin your day with prayer, and commit random acts of prayer. Pick someone to pray for throughout your day. It could be a politician you hear promoting abortion, or if someone cuts you off in traffic. Pray for them, and your anger will subside — and you will both be blessed. Use even menial tasks as offerings of gratitude.
3. Give thanks before every meal, and when you wake. Do it at home, do it at restaurants, do it wherever you are having a meal.
4. See Jesus more often. Make a weekly appointment to visit Jesus in the tabernacle. The more time you spend with Jesus, the more he can give to you. Adoration is time perfectly spent. So is daily Mass.
5. Bounce-back. As kids we used to say: “I’m rubber, and you’re glue; whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you.” Jesus told us: “The measure with which you measure will be measured back to you” (Matthew 7:10). Be kind. Forgive.
6. Become invisible. Look for invisible ways to do good. Do random acts of kindness. Skip over a parking spot near the door and pray for the one who will park there instead of you. Put away a shopping cart and pray for the one who left it and the next shopper to use it. “Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you” (Matthew 6:6). 
7. Read the Word/Share the Word. Put a Bible somewhere convenient and open it up once a day. Join a local study group such as Walking With Purpose, Fire of Faith or a local men’s group. https://shorecatholics.com/faith-sharing-and-formation
8. Call the manager and praise an employee. When you’ve been given good service, call the manager and report it. It will make that employee’s day. For a bonus, say a prayer for them.  
9. Ask God to arrange your seating and conversations. I know people who have had amazing experiences asking God to direct who we sit next to at events, studies, or on planes and to direct our conversations (even when socially distanced). Try it, and I think you will be surprised.
10. Fasting. Jesus fasted for 40 days before beginning his ministry. To integrate fasting into a daily sacrifice, take something out at meals. Skip the fries or ketchup, or don’t put butter on your bread.  Take a day to give up something like coffee, wearing jewelry or makeup, watching TV, going on social media, or whatever. Of course, a true fasting day is powerful and also recommended. Try one weekly!
11. Enjoy the wait. What do you do while waiting for the microwave or while waiting for someone to answer their phone? Turn inconsequential moments into prayers of consequence. 
12. End your purchase with a surprise. “Thank you and have a good day” is so ordinary that cashiers barely hear it. Try saying, “Thank you, and God bless you” with heartfelt expression. They will hear you.
13. Use sirens and flashing lights as prayer signals. Pray for the person needing the ambulance speeding by and also for whomever is at the end of a police call. For whatever reasons, they could use some extra prayers. 
14. Forget about yourself. Humility leads to holiness. Avoid correcting others if it doesn’t matter. Be last in line. Thank God for failure and ask him to lead you to what he wants for you. Don't think less of yourself, just think of yourself less.
15. Talk to people no one can see. Get to know the saint of the day and ask him or her to pray for you. Talk to your Guardian Angel.
16. Give away something you love. It’s fine to donate the things you don’t use, but occasionally give away a favorite item. It’s the difference between Cain and Abel’s offerings to God. 
17. Wear a crucifix. It’s a silent witness to Jesus’ love and sacrifice. Wear a scapular, miraculous medal, or a saint’s medal. It may inspire conversation and conversion!
18. Have a no-complaint day. Dedicate an entire day each week to not complaining.
19. Do a house blessing. Ask a priest to bless your house in 2021.
20. Give unexpected gifts. Release someone from a debt, anonymously give a gift card or money to someone on hard times, or send a pizza or baked goods to a police station or to a nursing home or to hospital employees or to a big family. 
21. Spend time in service. Serve the needy, the imprisoned, the homebound, the sick, or the lonely. Work at a food pantry or soup kitchen, shovel a neighbor’s snow, or run errands, or say hello. Send a note and/or Bible to the imprisoned, lonely or hospitalized. Pray for them.
22. Pray at an abortion facility. Pray for the Holy Innocents, for the mothers, for the fathers, for the doctors and nurses and other participants. Pray for healing and the conversion of hearts.
23. Pray the Rosary: The Rosary is our most powerful weapon. Take the time to meditate and reflect on each mystery. Start with one bead, then two, then a decade. You will enjoy the journey. The Divine Mercy Chaplet is a great supplement/alternative.
24. Go to Confession. Let Jesus take your burdens! Resolve to be reconciled regularly! Examine your conscience nightly. 
25. Pray with others. Pray with family, friends or strangers. Join us on the 13^th of each month for the Rosary at the Fatima Shrine at St. Catharine’s in Spring Lake.
26. Turn off the noise. Unplug for a while. Media and social media are not yoiur friends. They breed division and contempt. Find peace. 
27. Walk with God. Get up and walk in His creation. Contemplate His awesomeness!
28. Pray a Novena. There are many to choose from. Try the Hallow App or check your local Church. 

“Most of all: resolve to have a truly blessed new year — one that is new, focused on growing, learning, hoping. Every page of the calendar is blank. By the grace of God, every day holds promise and possibility. Recall the stirring and hope-filled words from Revelation: “Behold, I make all things new” (21:5).” Deacon Greg Kandra

Be purposeful: Commit to something every day. Tell Jesus your gift to Him that day.

Never believe, "I CAN'T" - YOU CAN! Maybe just not yet.
What do you need to work on to be able?
 

For full text: https://catholicparents.org/guidelines-living-fulfilling-life/

Guideline 1: Be a person who knows how to say thank you, who knows how to be grateful.

The great Catholic apologist G.K. Chesterton said of gratitude: “I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.”

Guideline 2: Always realize that education is primarily and above all else a search for truth.

Indeed, study has been called a prayer to truth. In his classic work “The Intellectual Life,” the great Thomist A.D. Sertillanges writes: “Intelligence only plays its part fully when it fulfills a religious function, that is, when it worships the supreme Truth, in its minor and scattered appearances. Each truth is a fragment which does not stand alone but reveals connections on every side. Truth in itself is one and the truth is God.”

Guideline 3: Never lose your sense of wonder, for a childlike wonder and astonishment should be the normal human response to the world that surrounds us.

Be alive to the splendor and beauty of reality. In the words of noted theologian Fr.Thomas Dubay: “God loves to astound us, for every single thing he has made is amazing, all the way from . . . the incredible technologies within any living cell . . . to the mind-boggling enormities and power in a single one of the 50 million galaxies in our cosmos” (“The Evidential Power of Beauty”).
 

Guideline 4: Recognize the great importance of silence and take time each day to be enriched by the world of silence.

We live in a terribly noisy world. From every direction we are bombarded by endless talk, chatter and just plain noise.  With all of this endless noise, is it any wonder why so many people are restless, distracted and anxious? They need — we all need — the healing balm of silence.
 

Guideline 5: Cherish the great gift of freedom, but understand what true freedom is.

Freedom is not doing anything you want, anything you please. That is license, not freedom. Authentic freedom is choosing the good; it is doing what one ought to do.

True freedom isn’t something we win for ourselves. It is a free gift from God, a fruit of the Holy Spirit. We receive this gift in the measure with which we surrender our will to the will of our Heavenly Father. This is exactly what Christ meant when he said, “Whoever would save his life will lose it and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”
 

Guideline 6: My last guideline is the most important: Do not be afraid to be religious. Do not be afraid to bear witness to the Gospel of Jesus Christ in your daily lives.

It is not news to any of you that we are living in a society that is becoming increasingly more secular, a society hostile to Christianity and especially to Catholicism. Our task as disciples of Christ is to do what his faithful followers have always done: live the faith we profess, be true to our baptismal promises, imitate Jesus. As Christians, we know we are in a spiritual battle, and if we are going to fight and win this battle, we had better be well armed.